By Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, John Mitchinson
The last word compendium of crisp one-liners, knockout jokes, droll asides and common truths amassed through the years by means of the creators of QI.
'You understand 'that look' girls get once they wish intercourse? Me neither.' Steve Martin; 'You can't hinder the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, yet you could hinder them from nesting on your hair.' chinese language proverb; 'The Beatles are death within the flawed order.' Victor Lewis-Smith; 'Cauliflower is not anything yet a cabbage with a faculty education.' Mark Twain; 'Depend at the rabbit's foot in the event you will, yet take note: it didn't paintings for the rabbit.' R.E. Shay; 'If it weren't for quotations, dialog among gents will be an unending sequence of 'what-ho's!' P. G.Wodehouse
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Extra resources for Advanced Banter: The Qi Book of Quotations (QI)
The mileage between you and your chick. Here's what we mean: a. If She Lives Far, Far Away from You—This is a no-brainer: continue banging her while you hit on every girl within a hundred yards of your dorm room. The key to making this relationship work, though, is to demand her loyalty while you jump on any girl who's had more than two drinks. As you're impersonating the 36 THE COMPLETE A * * H O L E ' S GUIDE Happy Hooker, your girlfriend will be pining away at home while storing up enough vaginal fluid to fill the community pool.
If a girl is a regular user, find her the good stuff. Normally, she would pay a pretty penny for it, so chances are she'll barter with sex. Living At the end of the Suddenly, your night, everyone goes best friend lives home. right next to you and there are a hundred hot sluts living down the hall. Everybody is drunk, and there is not a parent in sight! It's almost too easy. Cruise your dorm late at night with a six-pack under your arm. , but you can always find some chicks still looking to party.
The world's youngest serial rapist d. Talking about his one hundred prior lives 7. You should only say you're sorry when: a. You grab some chick's boob and she objects b. You're drunk and being obnoxious c. You've beaned your buddy in a Little League game d. Pigs fly out of your ass 8. If you see your high school best friend talking to your girlfriend, you should treat him like: a. Benito Mussolini b. Adolf Hitler c. Osama bin Laden d. All of the above 9. If you're rich in high school: a. It doesn't matter, because you can't buy a house b.